i've been working on writing short stories this past week during what free time that i have. i have one running draft right now, but of course, new ideas keep circling around and knocking me off my tracks. i suppose one of my biggest downfalls is that i can't prioritize to save my life. it all just ends up in pieces at the end of the day; getting things done when they get done and finishing projects when they finish. deadlines are quite mortifying and i guess that's why my blog can go days upon days without a post and then a closely-knit series of days when i post madly. i like to keep my posts genuine and my thoughts fresh and i'd rather not write in a robotic manner. it goes the same way with short stories. i closed my writing blog since i never actually managed to get around to it. i started, but that's as far as i got. everything starts out with a stellar idea, but i never know how to translate and commit to it.
i'd say that i'll buck up and finish the story before next weekend. i'll actually focus and find inspiration with a florence + the machine spotify session. i've fallen in love with her music again. it's quite haunting and lovely.
i decided to make 'days like these' posts a relevant thing on my blog now. i really marvel at how days can be so different, yet so similar. today is a quite boring day, trying to fight the winter blahs already. i warmed with some yummy hot cocoa and perched up in my pillow fort i made the day prior. i wish i'd made plans with someone, i suppose i still have time for that. it's just a day that's lonely and uneventful. this is the first day in a while when my heart felt a little empty.
once you fall in love, life changes.
every sight is brighter,
more wonderful than ever.
every word has a dreamlike quality
that is nearly unshakable.
every feeling is ecstatic and new.
every thought is coated
in a lovely film.
every heartbeat is for that person
that your world
suddenly revolves around.
a little poem that must have written on my phone a couple days ago. it seems like all of the poetry i write lately centers around the idea of love. i think i'm in love. i'm not quite sure, but i feel it. i've realized to not question the good things in your life because you'll never savor them as you should have.
i got such lovely roses on sunday. and a hand-drawn picture and a letter attached. needless to say, his art skills aren't nearly as dreamy as his words. his face when he saw my card was just wonderful. he insisted he couldn't read my cursive handwriting and that i should just read it to him. we spent the day getting ice cream at this place and the rest nestled up in blankets at his house. days like those are ones that you can never truly recreate, no matter how hard you try, and that's why i'll always cherish them.
"don't pretend that you know me."
"what if things don't get better?"
"i am learning who i am."
"i'm lost within my own lies."
i saw a such thing as a 'six word story'. i marveled at it for the longest time, lingering on the words. i felt a sort of empathy. my heart almost broke in a time frame of six words.
it made me think that we all have a series of words that could break us. they'd tear us apart, slowly or even a instant avalanche. and more particularly, a set of words uttered by a certain person. they tell your greatest fears and your hidden insecurities.
mine would be easy to say. three words. fourteen letters. i could hear them from anybody. they'd hurt just as much from any number of sources.
december may, and probably is, my favorite month out of the twelve. nothing compares to the holiday season. everything is wrapped up in a ribbon or is peppermint-scented. every house in my neighborhood transforms to make the area look like the north pole, practically.
the best part of the month is how nostalgic and sentimental it is. year after year, the same traditions that only better with age. recalling all sorts of memories and relishing in the past. restoring bits of our childhood, frantically grasping the fleeting moments of our youth. at the holidays, it seems like we try to relive those memories. we bake cookies and sip hot cocoa like we're suddenly eight again. we watch the same cartoons and write out our christmas lists. we insist santa is real and lay out fresh cookies for him.
christmas is magical. we all let our hearts believe that santa will bring us presents and that our festive dreams will come true.
i had a creative streak last night. i sketched out the beginnings of a one-month anniversary card. i chose something that was cute, but simply sentimental. i figured it'd be something he'd recognize right away. i still have to work on the rest of card - the cover, the side art, and of course a truly heartfelt letter on the inside. i'm trying to decide what i should put in it. i was thinking about putting the things i love about him in it. i'm not sure yet. i'll probably finish it up at midnight, when i get my next burst of creativity.